Dur-ama (I'm in the OC - so we over syllabatize)

You are never to old to learn something about yourself.  I have a not so secret addiction.  My friend pointed it out to via a text conversation we were having & damn if she wasn't right.  Sadly there is no rehab for this addiction.  No pill you can take to make it all feel better.  There is no cure for Dur-Ama.

My friend thought I would be mad when she told me this - after all - nobody wants to hear their flaws but she was right.  She told me she was told that a long time ago & it rang true for her also.  I think it starts with the good girl/bad boy syndrome.  We all SAY we want a nice guy, we all say we want the guy who reads us poetry, sings us love songs & brings us flowers, but when we are young - we want the guy who is going to rock our world & break our hearts. As we grow older - we hope that we grow past it.  Some of us do- me - not so much.


I had a Mr. Nice Guy once.  Sure he looked edgy - he wore fisnets & leather pants. Sure he bought me KFC mashed potatoes because I couldn't eat solid foods when I pierced my tongue. Sure he said I should have called him when I locked my key in the car at a gas station after I snuck out of his house the next morning in a "WTF did I do last night" haze. (karma is a bitch!).  He bored me to tears and quite frankly his uncircumsized pierced penis scared me.

A while later after the whole Fred incident - all my friends were urging me to give him another try.  They all said the nice guy is what I needed & he could be the best thing that ever happened to me.  Funny thing happened there.  He turned the tables on me and more Mr. Nice Guy!  He ignored me at the club even though we were together.  We would have plans to meet up & he wouldn't show.  He stopped calling & I couldn't get enough of him.  In the end it went south as it always did.  I slept with his best friend and Mr. Nice Guy  slept with his best friends girlfriend.  I found out it was over when his friend came into my store & asked me out.  I told him he knew I was dating Mr. Nice Guy & he told me that Mr. Nice Guy told him we were through.  Guess I missed THAT memo!

While I am older & wiser (yes that line made me giggle too) - Drama free is what I crave. Yet I seek it out like a crack whore looking for her next fix. If things are going well on the home front, you can bet I will stir something up.  If I feel slighted - I can never be the bigger person and let it go. I can rant & rave & tell you I will never speak to you again & you KNOW that I call you & make you feel like it was your fault. Cyclone Kathy used to be my nickname because I would come in, stir it all up and leave a huge mess with nothing but shambles in my wake.  Quite frankly I am surprised there are people who are still talking to me thanks to my past digressions. Drama is not something I know how to escape because when everything is great - I worry because I don't know how to deal with positiveness.

So Here's to the 1st step - My name is Kathy & I am addicted to DRAMA. Where's Jack Black when I need him to reel me in with the mantra "In Controllllllll" ala Animal?  I will try to maintain balance,  although being a Leo by nature makes me lean toward drama queen tendencies.  In the quest for love - I guess I need to seek the good guy with a bad boy edge? (As opposed to my room-mates very cute friend - he  claimed to be a prude with whorish qualities). Oh well - until I figure it out - I do look darling in my tiara!

****I just found out that Mr. Nice Guy passed away last year.  Rest in Peace Mr. Nice Guy, Rest in Peace.