A Taxing Decision

I am not political.  I know that politicians will say what they think you want to hear to get elected and do what they want when they get elected.  I know that when a Democrat is in the office my conservative friends bemoan it for four to eight years.  When we have a  Republican in the office although the conservatives like to post a lot of pictures of Ronald Reagan.  With all that being said - I do find myself leaning more towards the conservative side as I grow older.  Obamacare raised my current insurance plan 300% next year and my options to replace it weren't great.  I do get free birth control and penicillin which may serve me well if I ever have sex again, but that is the only positive I see from it.  With all that being said, Prop 32 in California just threw a serious wrench in my life and I'm none too happy about it.  

For those of you not in CA and not familiar with it - it was a law passed basically requiring big businesses to pay higher taxes and all the money is supposed to go to the schools. I am all for improving the school systems out here.  I have watched my college tuition take serious rate hikes with numerous classes being cut while the president of the school gave himself a hefty raise "so the school could stay competitive".  My son goes to public school and we are fortunate enough to be in a decent district.  Overall though - if big businesses have to pay more to fund our under performing schools - they are going to leave the state - plain and simple. California is damn near bankrupt and the last thing they need is a mass exodus of businesses who don't feel they should have to pay more because they are profitable.  Add a multi-billion dollar light rail system the state is planning on building which costs more than the deficit our budget is in and you have one ex husband who has started packing and has proclaimed he is leaving the state.

Now to be fair, I knew this was coming for awhile and he has even said I can follow and stay with them as he planning on buying a house when he does move. The question is - do I REALLY want to move?  In 1998 I gave away all my club clothes and packed everything I could into two suitcases and a carry-on and totally uprooted my life to live with what is now my ex husband.  I gave up a good job, friends, family, a car and basically my whole life.  I was 27 at the time and had a lot more doors open to me upon my move.  After 11 years of less than domestic bliss - I had the carpet pulled out from under my twice - once landing me in a homeless transitional shelter for women for two months.and once landing me in a gross house with 2 guys and  suddenly having to deal with the fact I was single.  I have been on my own for the past year and a half even though 95% of my time is spent on my ex's couch to spend time with Gman;. I have the ability to go home when things get bad though and that is a beautiful thing,  I am now I am faced all over again with decision of going to a place I have never been, in a job market that sucks and still without the luxury of car,  BUT I would be near and with my son.  Or, I can stay in California which I hate and have the security of a good job, a few close friends, a community college where the state pays for me to go and a bed that isn't attached to a room in a house own by an overlord, BUT I would be miles away from my son. The choice seems like it should be obvious - follow my son, but I am just not sure that I could survive living with my ex again especially not knowing how long it will take me to find a job.  

This could be a very needed change though. No matter how blonde my hair gets - I will never be a Southern California girl.  I will never look like one, act like one or think like one.  The man market HAS to be better than Southern California.  The single midlife men here think they are still in college and want their women to be barbie dolls with passports.  In Yuma - I had at least two guys hitting on me at the bar. In CA, the straight guys buy my gay male friend drinks as I sip my cocktail I bought myself. The culture will be different no matter where we go. The ideas are Oregon, Colorado and Massachusetts - I'm pulling for MA if only for that Boston accent - "Let's go to the cah and head to the bah" - but I HATE the Patriots with a passion that is not fit for writing - so maybe not..I will have new adventures to blog about. I may be able to afford my own place where I can have Gman and start living like a divorced couple instead of living out a backpack as I go between places to drop off and pick up clothes. I guess I may have just talked myself into moving AGAIN (which I truly hate almost as much as the Patriots)..

As much as I hate change - I shall embrace what comes my way.  I need to grow and find Kathy or I am never going to be happy with myself.  Maybe the new Kathy is out of state because I certainly can't find her here.  Look out 2014 - I'm going to be coming at you swinging even if it means being bundled in boots and a heavy coat!

Did you suddenly just picture this?  I did

My Day of Thanks 2012

Today has been particularly troubling.  I have been fighting with the Ex since 6:30 this morning.  That would be two hours of text fighting and a drained cell phone because I forgot to charge it last night.  I have just been banned from Thanksgiving dinner because someone is a megalomaniac control freak who I would love nothing more than to tell the fuck the hell off at times but won't because he has my son.  Yes we do have it on paper that we have joint custody except I live in a place where I can't have Gman over on a regular basis and boy does that get thrown in my face every chance his dad gets. So while I am free on paper - I am still just a freak on my ex's leash.

So, I am banned from Thanksgiving, I have no family in CA and not really speaking to the family I do have in Ohio.  My only real CA friends will be out of town and it isn't like I can afford a trip to Ohio to see my friends back home.  I am trying REALLY hard to come up with a reason to write a happy and I'm so lucky Thanksgiving post.  Despite my usual doom and gloom attitude though; since my divorce - I am trying really hard to wear my happy hat and stay positive.

So here is my Day of Thanks post 2012 edition

I am thankful for my son.  At times I hate that I brought him into such a f'd up  family situation, but the world is brighter place with him in it.  He is my light, my love and my joy.  Without him - I would find it very hard to even find the strength to get up and fight my way through a day that I had no interest of even being a part of.  His hugs nourish my soul and his kisses warm my heart.  Gman is my everything.

I am thankful for my friends both near and far. While I don't always reach out to them - I know that they are both here for me if I need them.

I am thankful for my job.  I have been with the same company for a year and four months and have managed to keep it.  I am thankful for a steady paycheck.

I am thankful for the basics.  Everything I need is in walking distance (including a dive bar that I may desperately need to get drunk at tonight if my day keeps going the way it is).  There are lots of things I don't have and could bemoan.  I don't have my own place, I can't afford to take care of my son like I should.  I don't have a car. The list can go on and on and on.  But I woke up this morning and there are families sobbing because  their loved one didn't.  I ate breakfast and could complain about how fat I feel and there are many who won't eat at all today.  Whether I am on my ex's couch or my own room, I am protected from the elements with a pillow for my head and warm blankets. Many people will sleep in the cold without even a jacket.  I can ride my bike to get from place to place, I can wear expensive running shoes and run (sometimes) or walk where I want, but there are many who will never walk again.

So yeah, I could have it a better.  We all could.  I don't know a single person who can say "wow things are PERFECT - I wouldn't change a thing!" I could have it a LOT worse though and even though at times it feels like I can only get worse - I am thankful for everything I do have.  To quote Sheryl Crow - It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got and I do have a lot so I am the luckiest woman alive and I am Thankful. 

Because There are Things I am Passionate About Beside My Hair and Lipgloss

DONATE HERE! Lisa's Race for Hope Donation Page

I am going to copy and paste  Saucy Writer Girl's Blog post at the end of this  Why?  Because you probably won't follow the link.  If you don't follow the link, you won't know about the cause she has pledged herself to run for and raise money and awareness for.  If I don't post it - you might not be aware of what is going on under your nose in that quiet domesticity you live - I sure didn't.  I had no idea just how prevalent it was in my hometown of Dayton Ohio.  You might not realize that your sweet princess who is sound asleep in her bed with her American Girl doll tucked under her arm might run away in 10 years and get caught up in human sex trafficking.  Maybe she will be too stubborn to call you to get her, but scared out of her skull and some "nice person" will offer her shelter in exchange for a favor.  Yes, I know, that could never happen to your daughter.  You live in a nice area with good schools and well to do neighbors.  The truth is - it does happen and it happens everyday.

So Lisa is going to help end this heinous crime.  To help rehabilitate these children.  To do something other than talk about it, complain what a travesty it is and them move on to a latte and back to Words with Friends.  She is going to run World Race for Hope because she runs and presently between going to school full time, working part-time, being a mom to two beautiful girls and a wife - she doesn't necessarily have time to volunteer - but she wasn't content to sit on her ass and do nothing.  She is looking to raise $100.  Now, I don't necessarily have the time to volunteer either and my ass can rarely be motivated to strap on my running shoes just for exercise - so I am taking it upon myself to help her promote her cause, her run and to hopefully boost her past $100. 

So what can you do?  You can pledge to her.  It is tax deductible.  If you donated that $3.00 you spent at Starbucks or Panera or wherever it is you get your caffeine fix, you could rest easy knowing that you did a small part to help a child caught up in some very f'd up shit.  Each of my posts gets an average of 15 hits.  If all 15 of you donated just that $3.00 - that's $45 and it puts her $5.00 away from her goal.  I donated $10.00 because she is my friend, I think it's a worthy cause and I am donating my blog space to help her raise funds and awareness.  Please readers - my friends and those who I don't know but frequent this page - please help me help Lisa reach her goal and help end human sex trafficking. Whether you are in US, Russia, South Korea, Germany or Australia (a sampling of where my regular hits come from) Our daughters DESERVE it and we CAN make a difference!!!!

I'll even sweeten the deal - I will match the highest donation from my blog up to Twenty Dollars.  Leave a comment with your pledge amount and I will follow up with Lisa as to the amounts she has received. On December 14, 2012 I will make a second donation and recognize it as a my gift from you!

As promised - here is her post:

Social Media and Social Change: Raising Awareness About Human Trafficking

As part of my Social Media and Social Change coursework, we had to choose an issue that we felt strongly about and use social media and other avenues to help either build awareness or make a positive change. The projects were varied and included removing a bottled water vending machine in an office and replacing it with a water filtration system (a success), building awareness about shelter dogs and puppy mills (very informative and a cause I already support), Mayor Bloomberg’s ban on supersized sodas in NYC, fracking, and the AUM student union (or lack thereof)…I could go on, but I think my point has been made. I chose human trafficking as my topic. Not a pretty topic, but relevant nonetheless. Most victims of human trafficking are women and children who are used in the sex trade or as forced labor. This insidious industry is one of the fastest growing criminal enterprises, and almost all countries in the world are affected by it. During the research, I found that it is a recognized problem in Ohio. In fact, Dayton is thought to be becoming the hub of the child sex trafficking industry in the state, with the average age of the victims being only 13 years old.

Building awareness about this practice is one of the best ways to fight it. But what can the average citizen (for example, you and I), do to help? I found that there are a few different local organizations that are always looking for volunteers. One such group is the Oasis House, which interacts with suspected victims in the community to get them connected with social services agencies to get the help they need. Another resource is Abolition Ohio, an organization founded by Anthony Talbott, a local UD professor who also helped to organize the Dayton Human Trafficking Accords in 2009. Both groups offer training to citizens who want to get involved with victims and help them navigate life after being trafficked as well as offer education about the topic. One of the more positive aspects of community and law enforcement awareness have been the recent changes in Ohio laws that now recognize victims of trafficking and work with them instead of automatically prosecuting them. (Punishing the traffickers and those who use their services is something that can and does happen – decreasing the demand in the community and throughout the world by imposing strict sentences for offenders is definitely something that makes an impact on the industry.)

All during this course, I pondered just exactly what I could do to help this cause. I’m just a suburban wife and mother who goes to school full time and works part time. I don’t have a lot of extra time to volunteer (but I plan on it in the future) or money to donate to a cause. But I do like to run. As I was looking for upcoming races to run in, I found the World Race for Hope run on New Years Day. The event is in Troy and benefits local organizations as well as organizations worldwide who help victims of human trafficking. That’s when it hit me: anyone, regardless of age, economic background, or his or her busy life can help eradicate this horrible crime against humanity. I’ve signed up for the race and pledged to raise $100. I’m trying to find sponsors to help me get to my goal, even if it’s only a dollar at a time.

Here is the link to the website:

http://raceforhope.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=1037945

If you click on the sponsor button and type my name, it will take you directly to my personal fundraising page within the site and help me hit my $100 goal. 

We CAN make a difference. 

Six Year Olds and Social Media

My son is technology savvy. He taught me things on my iTouch that I was clueless about such as how to take screen shots. When he said he wanted to go to the Moon Park- I told him there was no park called that around here. He grabbed my iPad, pulled up google maps & showed me despite never having been. He can navigate his way around the Internet. Sometimes it's for good, such as looking up lyrics to his favorite songs so he can memorize them. Sometimes his dad isn't paying attention and I get an email thanking Gman for joining an Asian dating using my email address. (I swear that's a true story. He thought he was signing up for a game.)

One of his favorite things to do on his computer is play on Facebook. We built a farm in FarmVille together. He played my Pet Society pet when I was playing that one. He loves to do my Bejeweled Blitz spins. Once he even posted "Taylor Swift I love you. I'm a fan and dream about you" on my behalf. My friends had a great time with that one. So I decided that maybe he should have his own account. It was a compromise - he wanted a Twitter account, but there is less control over what he reads on twitter.

A few of my friends think I'm crazy for signing him up. True - I lied about his age by ten years, but the account is under my junk email address - so I see every request he gets. He is very in tune to pop culture so we went through and liked a bunch of pages together. Yes- Taylor Swift was the first page he liked. He asked for Usher's page and I vetoed that. I let him friend my friends who don't necessarily post inappropriate things such as "aunt Susie" because they talk on the phone and Lisa because he thinks she and her daughters are cute. I wouldn't let him friend family teen friends because they do post things he probably shouldn't be reading - but as mom - its my job to censor what he reads - not what they write. What I'm enjoying most though is that he has his own platform to post what's on his mind.

His teacher told me that Gman has the most personality of any child he has taught in years. Given that from 0-4 he was predominantly with either me or his dad; he speaks maturely for his age because he was rarely around other kids. As his teacher put it - he speaks like an adult with child like delivery. He has my sarcastic wit and his dad's sense of timing. He is by far one of the funniest people I know, so I enjoy reading what he has to say. One post simply said "I'm bad at darts". One post was about a Just Dance video he had just watched on YouTube. They were both about what was on his mind at that time and that isn't always something that comes up in conversation. It also shows me what we need to work on as far as spelling.

So I embrace the fact that my child is using a social media app. I would also encourage others to do the same. I do highly recommend it is stringently monitored, but I think most people would be pleasantly surprised by just what their kids have to say when they have the freedom to express themselves in their own words.

Well I DO have an Addiction to String Cheese.....

I have been called many things in my lifetime.  Heck, my ex husband has called me every name in the book.  Generally, I have learned to let names just roll off my back. This one however is sticking like glue and maybe writing about it will get me past it.

I was told after maybe 5 minutes of conversation - I was MOUSY. Now my first thought was "What the hell?  This is the most put together I have EVER looked.  My hair was perfectly blonded (all hail the root touch up), shiny and straight. My lipgloss was subtle (fab shade of L'Oreal Infallible Le Gloss 465 Red seemed at bit much), and I had on a long sleeve t-shirt, long red tank top underneath, a red scarf, skinny jeans that I was finally able to squeeze back into after a year (HOLLA) and black flats to tie it all together.  I almost didn't believe it was me in the mirror.  Yes I sound totally vain - but I rarely look that good.  I soon realized though that he meant my personality.

mousy, mousey [ˈmaʊsɪ]

adj mousier, mousiest

2. shy or ineffectual (a mousy little woman)

The shock.  The horror.  I mean hello - I am usually the most outspoken person I know.  This blog wouldn't have lasted a year if I wasn't!  But the more I have let this fester like an open wound on my psyche - I realized he might be right. (Damn I hate admitting anyone who isn't me is right)

I am taking HUGE steps by subjecting myself to these coffee house interrogations (and yes I think I lost huge points by telling him I felt interrogated - whoops).  I am not a sober socialite.  I do have a wall and quite frankly it takes some time for me to bring it down.  It isn't going to come down over drinks at Starbucks near a very busy ATM. Had we hit the cantina - this might be a whole other post. I have good reason to have a wall having dealt with things in my past I would only wish perhaps on Fred and only because he is on my shit list presently.  I am shy and I told him that long before we met.  I am working on banishing those demons who sing me songs of doom and gloom because I AM PRETTY,  I am interesting and  I am smart.  I wasn't as deep as he was, but he didn't have to spend 4 years watching Yo Gabba Gabba. That will kill anybody's intellect by at least 10 IQ points.  Maybe I don't know who Wes Anderson is or get my news from The Daily Show, but  I am a self proclaimed geek - not a hipster. 

So Code Name Hot Chocolate -  I AM mousy and you know what?  Because you didn't feel you could take the time to scale that wall and to get to know me - you will never realize that I am so much more than that shy and ineffectual woman you met with for an hour.  AND you will never get to hear this mouse squeak!

Blog Birthday Musings & He's Just Not That Into Me.

Dear Little Blog,

Yesterday you turned one year old. You started as a vision to chronicle my social life. Little did I know when I started you with a few posts about bad dates, you would blossom into what is coined as life blogging. You became a personal platform for my dating or lack thereof, my foray into short stories, my personal confessions and personal opinions.

A few highlights of the past year:

• I have reconnected with an ex, disconnected, got a confession of love from him and had him just phase me completely out after he did. (stupid Fred. I'm really, REALLY done with him this time)
• I've submitted a erotic short story and had it rejected.
• I've broken 2 toes.
• I've been granted my divorce.
• I've grown in my writing and I look forward to when the muse rears her pretty little head.
• I submitted a blog post to an online blogging magazine and was told by the editor that she loved my snark and was going to publish me. It finally granted me the validation I sought outside my the scope of those who read me on Facebook because they are my friends.

You've allowed me to express myself through all of that.

Your birthday also marked what I thought was going to be THE DATE. He was a guy who I had talked to previously but let slide because of the distance he lived from me. He just happened to contact me on the day I told Cute Dumb Boy not to bother trying to meet me and the day I found out my divorce was final. I saw that as a sign. We talked on the phone, texted and my complications of my life didn't scare him off. We decided to meet last night for hot chocolate because I don't like coffee. Again saw it as a sign due to the date coinciding with the blog birthday. On a side note - after seeing a show with a women who did life casting and blogging - I found the site that wants to publish me. I saw that as a sign too. I had all these signs pointing to things that were just meant to be. I fell for it despite my former post saying I refuse to buy in to that philosophy anymore. I really felt like this was the date that would lead to my first official SECOND date.

He was brilliant, smart, cute and funny. I tried to be relaxed because I liked him, but think in the end he thought my wall was too high and too hard to scale. I think that I was too Kathy. I wasn't terribly nervous, but I was shy. He said I was mousy (hello - my hair was FAB and I was rocking skinny jeans. Quiet yes. Mousy - HELL NO.) I didn't have all the answers to all the questions lobbed at me. I didn't have questions for him. Afterwards, I texted him a thank you text telling him how much I enjoyed myself and his company He texted back "no problem". Ouch. I'm thinking I should delete his number so I'm not tempted to text him again. I've mean read He's Just Not That Into You and I get the impression he isn't. Damn, perceived rejection sucks. I must soldier on though.

So dear blog, we shall venture into our second year - keyboard ablaze. I will continue to solicit my posts to outside ventures so that others can experience my wit. I'll continue to throw myself out there in an attempt to make that oh so elusive connection. And little blog, you will be there every step of the way; fostering my passion and helping me amuse the masses.

Finally!

June 1, 2011 marked the day that I moved out of my ex's place for good. 

December 29, 2011 marked the day the divorce papers were filed.

August 5, 2012 marked the day the papers were resubmitted without getting kicked back by the court.

November 5, 2012 marked the day that the divorce was granted.

So now that my little blog is about to turn a year old next week, I write this entry as a single woman for the first time in 15 years.  I sit here and am torn between feeling utterly defeated and utterly exuberant.

I thought I did everything right.  I got to know this man on an emotional level long before it ever got intimate.  I waited until I was 30 to get married knowing that my 20's were too young.  I fought against everyone who told me to leave him long before it was over because I made a promise.  A promise to love, honor and cherish through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, through good times and bad til death do us part.  I am a stickler for promises.  That was a promise that wouldn't stand the test of time though.  I was at fault for things just as he was and I will think it is more his fault than mine and he will think it was more mine than his. This we will never agree on, so we just let it stand where it is.  It has left me emotionally scarred and scared because I really fear that I won't know how to act if I find a man who adore me and treats me well.  Kathy of her 20's would have run screaming towards the hills at that prospect. Kathy of her 40's relishes it.  I fear I won't find it.  There is no such thing as the fairy tale ending Hollywood spends millions of dollars making you believe in.  There isn't always someone out there for everyone.  While I don't NEED a man to be fufilled, sometimes it would be nice to be truly kissed and simply held.

This however opens a new chapter in my life and while it's scary; it is exciting.  I know that I am going to be forever tied to my ex because of Gman. That kid is the sole thing we ever did right in our tumultuous relationship, but I can be my own person.  It gives me the opportunity to reinvent myself.  I can reprioritze my life and what KATHY wants. I can take my time finding that special person who makes me feel those elusive butterflies.  I can change my name to Kate, or Kat or Kalee.  I can have a scandalous relationship with a hot 25 year old (ok - that might just be a fantasy) (yes I remember my cougar post, but sometimes the ego needs that boost).  I can do whatever I want.

So while year one serialized my life as a separated diva, year two of my blog can serialize my path as a 42 year old divorcee with the same fabulous hair and lipgloss obsession - I will just ramp up the efforts to justify all the dollars spent to keep my hair and lips shiny.  I will not waste my time on guys who want to me to waste it on them.  For instance Cute Dumb Boy (see Another One Bites The Dust) tried to make it 4th times a charm and flaked AGAIN. I told him don't bother because he cuteness was no longer enough to sustain my interest level and you know what?  It felt damn good!  I'll consider looking at guys who I normally wouldn't.  I'll do my best to get that swagger back and stitch it to my shadow a la Peter Pan.  I will suffer through those blasted coffee meetings until I learn to be charming.  Hell, I may even break down and have sex with someone just for the heck of it. (ok probably not). 

Time to start living.  Really living.  Look out world.  I plan to take the world by storm  one baby step at a time!

Another Report from the Trenches

I am trying to get myself back out into the dating world.  I really am.  I am more than officially ready to move on.  The only thing keeping me from being the cliche 42 year old divorcee is a judge's signature and a clerk's rubber stamp.  Sure, I'm still having some issues with time management, but that is something that can be worked around.  Sure I still have to deal with attitude from the ex when I do want to go out, but that too can be worked on. I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life.  The next chapter, however; isn't really ready to move on with me though.

Still lacking a means of transportation that doesn't require a fare to be paid to a driver - it is really hard to meet people.  The old adage of meeting people in the grocery store doesn't really work.  I've been talked to twice in a grocery store.  Once by a teen who needed mom type advice on cold medicine and once by underage guys who said I could go to their party if I bought them beer.  I don't really go out all that often and even when I do - I am never approached.  Case in point - I went out with my best guy friend who happens to be gay.  Straight guys were buying him drinks and I was left sitting in the corner nursing the drink I paid for myself!  I have tried starting conversations only to be looked at like I was speaking an alien language.  This leaves that sad dating experience known as online dating and I am discovering I really suck at this form of social interaction,

As I have chronicled in the past - it is opposite of real world encounters.  You go through everything backwards ending up with a meeting to see if there is chemistry which in my case there rarely is.  In the real world, you encounter someone, decide then if there is chemistry and THEN decide to meet.  At that point, you have already had a face to face encounter and you don't feel like you are being interrogated over bad coffee and feeling awkward.  It doesn't matter how great you seem to click with someone over emails and text messages - it's the face to face that always seems to be my killer.  This was the case yesterday as I had my first ever "Coffee Date"

I will be the first to admit that I didn't hold high hopes for this one from the get go.  He was 39 and had recently come to the conclusion of "oh crap, I'm still single and all my friends are married with kids - I need to catch up".  I for the most part do not want another child and even though I know that was his main criteria for dating - I needed to get out of the house.  I also need practice talking to someone who isn't six. Besides, you never know what can happen until you do meet the person.  For starters though - he had on a hideous shirt.  If I could have slipped away discreetly without being seen; I would have.  It was that bad.  A black button down with bright blue dragons around it and a black thermal shirt underneath.  That perhaps makes me shallow; so ok I admit it - I am more shallow than the splash pool at the water park.  Bad taste in clothing aside - he was boring.  He was witty and funny in his texts, but in person he was as flat as a piece of poster board,  We had very little in common and I couldn't even pretend that it was interesting.  He probably thought very much the same about me. In my defense though, I issued a disclaimer that I am really bad at first dates. After about an hour, I ended it saying that I needed to get back to Gman because I did. So we can now consider Date #2 of 2012 failure.

Am I asking too much? I'm not expecting fireworks, but maybe just a little dry ice effect?  Some smoulder maybe?  I'd really just like to be excited about someone again. Someone who could excite me in person the way Prince Harry via email? Someone who says "wow look at little miss hotty" and NOT have it be my son.  I just don't know.   Overall, I'm pretty happy with my life when I'm not feeling sorry for myself.  I have kept my job for over a year. I have a closet that I spend $745 a month even though I rarely sleep in the bed next to it. I have access to my kiddo & can sleep on my ex's couch anytime I want.  My basic needs are met.  I have air, food, friends, my iPad and a crazy 6 year old that means the world to me.  I am blessed in so many areas. I don't NEED to be with someone.  I'd just like someone to spend some time with who doesn't share my last name every once in awhile!