How was your weekend? Mine was FAB U LOUS (again with the OC over syllabatizing). It started out on Friday night when I went to my friend's house to help celebrate her birthday and I got a text message that simply said "BITCH". It was from a number in an area code that I usually don't date guys from because of the California traffic. When I asked who it was - I was simply told it was from some guy I screwed over and how he hoped I was happy with myself. I tried in vain to figure this out and finally got his name which was no help but it was the name of another guy I had been talking to online so I was REALLY confused at that point because I had never talked to him off the dating site. I had no idea who this person was - but he knew my name, knew details and had my number. Saturday was more of the same from him.
Sunday, I get another message from him berating me telling me that he would have treated me like a queen, given me a home so I didn't have to rent a room and had a place for my son, would have paid for my entire schooling and would have let me quit my job and supported me 100%, but girls like me don't like nice guys. Within a few texts, he gave me the details of what exactly in his head I did to screw him over and I finally figured out who he was. Some crazy dude who was already buying presents for me before we had moved past texting to a real phone call and before we had a chance to meet. That freaked me out and I blew him off hard. 8 months later he is texting me about how horrible I am of a person. I may have my own issues - but that dude takes the cake! I feel extremely justified in my decision to no longer talk to him - I have enough cray cray in my life!
Saturday was a milestone for me. It was the first night I got to go out as a single lady (don't you dare put a ring on it). I was celebrating above mentioned friend's birthday and my divorce and I had only one objective. I would lock lips with someone before I passed out that night. I went to great lengths to help this objective along. A $45 haircut and style (because your hair never looks as good when you do it yourself), $20 on a top that I didn't wear (it was too work wearish), $4.99 6" pink glittered wedge heels (they were sooo badass & regularly $30) and $10 RED lipgloss in the exact shade Gwen Stefani wore in Settle Down. I've lost some weight and have been running & biking so I ROCKED my miniskirt (the heels helped too) I was ready to go on the prowl to find a man the old fashioned way - drunk at a bar.
I was very proud of myself because I was social and tried to be flirty. Of course I was rather drunk too, but I am very social when I'm drunk which explains a lot about my twenties. I talked to lots of guys and danced until my amazing heels were no longer comfortable. By nights end though - my objective had failed to be met.
Or so I thought.
Only I could go out to a bar to meet a guy and instead end up with a guy from a dating site.
He had messaged me earlier in the evening and I was trying to lure him to the club I was at, but instead he invited me over afterwards. I ended up breaking a bazillion rules that night
- Personal rule - no sex with guys from the internet because my thought is if he is asking me - how many other chickas has he asked? How many other others have accepted? How little game must you have to proposition a head shot?
- Online dating 101 - Meet in a public place. After a poll of a few random strangers at the club who also agreed- my friend and I decided in my drunken state that it was great idea to drop me off at his place.
- Online dating 101- Meet for coffee not alcoholic beverages. Yeah well that went out the door after 5 rum and cokes and a glass of wine before I even left the club!
Online dating 101 and Patti Stanger rule (I worship her for her dating sensibility) - don't have sex on the first date. I have no excuse for failing that one except it really wasn't a date per se and well - those shoes were just way too fabulous to just end up on my floor - that might have been the alcohol talking at the time though.
Ok - so I only broke 4 rules, but they were big ones. I do give my friend props for doing her due dilligence in her interrogation of the guy (What's your name? Last name, spell it, You aren't psycho are you? Please don't kill her) Now I am not going to give out lavish details - but this was a HUGE step for me and one I fully admit I wouldn't have taken sober. I am always so caught up in my own head and the rules of dating in your 40's. I don't want to be one of those women who once they are divorced sleep with every man that crosses their path - again - I'm not in my twenties anymore. My thought process is how I want to be respected for my mind and not just wanted for my body. How there is more to me than an amazing rack no matter how fab Belinda and Belylse are. That holy hell - the prospect of trying to even think about getting naked in front of somebody for the 1st time my in my larger state scares the shit out of me. That after many years with the same person where it became so routine that it was more mechanical than passionate - what if I don't even remember how to not have sex by rote?
But because my levels of intoxication were at a level where I was loose enough to not care about anything I listed above - I learned that a total stranger thought I was hot and my size didn't matter. I learned that L'oreal Infallible Le Gloss while may be 8 hour wear proof it is NOT kiss proof. I learned I still remember EXACTLY what I'm doing.
AND
After almost a year a 4 months - I not only got that kiss I was yearning for - I also got that elusive kiss goodnight when I was taken home (yes my friend was TOTALLY relieved he wasn't psycho and I didn't make it home in a trash bag), and a very nice text the following morning. This is more than any of those damn coffee interrogations gave me.
It was the BEST NIGHT EVER!
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