Only me. Only I find myself in such situations that lead my friends to shake their head and watch the train wreck unfold.
I had a plan for my old age. I would buy the house next to Fred and sit on my porch yelling at him to get his dog off my lawn. I would threaten to call the police if he didn't turn down his death metal because it was keeping me awake even though my hearing aide was out. I hated it when I was in my 20's and I'm pretty sure I will hate it in my golden years. We'd grow old together as neighbors tormenting each other. Well it wouldn't be the 1st time I went Taylor Swift on his ass and that scenario isn't going to happen. We are NEVER EVER EVER getting back together. I'm pretty sure I will just grow old as the lonely, crazy cat lady - I will just be spared the house in Texas.
The thing is every time I resign myself to being content with that scenario. The gods of love or perhaps the blogosphere decide to present me with a reminder that "he" is out there, but "he" is nothing more than said reminder. It reminds me that anytime I decide maybe I should lower my standards for the sake of I've seen everything I want on Netflix, that "he" would be the ONE, but there is always that pesky thing called "HE DOESN'T LIVE IN SO CAL". Yuma, England & this time somewhere in Eastern Standard Time.
Yes, you are rolling your eyes, shaking your head, saying to yourself "here we go again". It's ok. I did too. I wasn't even looking this time. I know it's the stuff that those romance stories I can't write are made of. Girl flirts with boy on social media (no not a dating site - that ship sailed awhile ago), boy responds. They start talking and the chemistry is undeniable. They share a passion of writing, He's well educated and brings her to her knees with the slightest of things he types. He can weave a story that leaves her longing for more. She falls asleep running everything he says in her head before she goes to sleep. It's all pretend though. A fabulous fauxmance. Never could two people have something so amazing that will never be.
But why? If it's fiction - the ending could be written any way she chooses. It can't though. He's across the country, he is out of her league living a life she could only imagine. He has his career; he is going places. She is just lucky enough that someone so amazing could light a fire in her that she forgot burned. He inspires her to write things that bring a non-romance reading man to his knees. When he says she is beautiful, she believes that he means it. She is; he was just smart enough to see beyond that beauty. She believes he may be the most brilliant man she will ever encounter. It's a fauxmance sprinkled in truth.
They will continue the game until the fire burns down like it will. It always does. He will find someone closer, someone more versed to his lifestyle. She will let herself believe that he will never meet anyone as perfect for him as her. He won't, but she is to him what he is to her. The ONE, just not the ONE meant to be this time around. It happens.
Apparently she is getting really good at pretend romances. Perhaps it's just a preface for the real one she refuses to admit she wants. That doesn't mean she isn't going to write a few more amazeball love letters though just to foster his attention a wee bit longer.
After all, it's what I - ahem - I mean she does best!
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