Seriously, the next time someone tells me to go for someone who so isn't my type - I am going to smile pretty and them promptly ignore them. I don't care that I may get a free meal out of it! I've gained 5 freaking pounds back. My landlord, my trainer and even my blonde haired angel said go for it. The redheaded devil said don't do it. Now if that isn't a strange dichotomy - I don't know what it. When is the devil ever the one to tell you no - well when it is one of your best friends who knows you better than anyone.
I learned a few valuable lessons though.
I learned that it is possible for me to date a nice guy without devouring him, spitting him out and then leaving his remains for the vultures. I guess I have grown a bit since my twenties,
I learned the "nice guy" isn't always so nice.
I learned that while I may be "grown up", I am not ready to date an adult
I learned I really wasn't being myself.
My gentlemanly scientist, who told me he didn't know what he wanted, that he needed to take it slow, and he needed space to do things solo was lying. Turns out that there was someone else who was getting his weekend time, who he was taking places besides dinner and getting his "solo" time. He didn't need to take it slow with her. He sure seemed to know what he wanted with her and willing to spend all of his free time with her. When questioned about it, he told me I was making it sound a lot more serious than it was and I was reading way more into it. It was very recent and not at all what I thought. I bought it. I was a fool.
The following day, he told me he was on his way to San Diego. Well that told me where she lived. I went onto facebook to do some snooping and found her. I didn't know it was her until I saw her cover photo of four feet in the sand and two of them were his. That told me all I needed to know. We had joked in the past how nothing was official until you change the facebook status and he informed me that wasn't something he was ready for. Well after two weeks of dating her "San Diego Toe Ring Trollop is now in a Relationship with Boot Camp Guy". Then she updated a pic of the two of them at a museum.
Just WOW. I guess what he meant to say to me is - I don't want you, but you are good in bed, so I'll drag it out as long as I can.
I sent him a text message congratulating him and it was drizzled with sarcasm. He replied "Thank you, it just felt right". I told him I was being sarcastic and to keep the nail polish - it might accentuate her toe rings. I then deleted his phone number and unfriended him.
Whatever. I hope they are happy and her toe rings get caught in his back hair.
The more I think about it - I really wasn't being myself. I was being quiet and meek and what I thought he needed and it was stifling. I mean I am all that in the beginning, but once I know you - there is no shutting me up. I wasn't like that with him. I was conservative. I had nothing to talk about. Truthfully, I was bored. He just gave me the attention I was craving and I let that cloud my judgement. I thought if someone so accomplished could like me, then I must be moving on up. I was wrong. I wasn't motivated enough for him, my circumstances were too much for him to overcome and I'm not where most women my age should be.
You know what - too bad so sad. It never would have worked. He doesn't watch cartoons (Adventure Time anyone), he doesn't play my style of video games & sorry, but I LOVE Duck Dynasty even in reruns!
The man for me won't care that I couldn't to go to school this semester because I couldn't afford it. That yes, I am presently a file clerk who makes under $30k a year in So Cal and lives in a house with many housemates. It beats being unemployed and living in a homeless shelter which is where I was 3 years ago.
So it's back to square one. The square that contains me getting back to me. Because I am the ONE for me.
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