I am trying to get myself back out into the dating world. I really am. I am more than officially ready to move on. The only thing keeping me from being the cliche 42 year old divorcee is a judge's signature and a clerk's rubber stamp. Sure, I'm still having some issues with time management, but that is something that can be worked around. Sure I still have to deal with attitude from the ex when I do want to go out, but that too can be worked on. I am ready to move on to the next chapter of my life. The next chapter, however; isn't really ready to move on with me though.
Still lacking a means of transportation that doesn't require a fare to be paid to a driver - it is really hard to meet people. The old adage of meeting people in the grocery store doesn't really work. I've been talked to twice in a grocery store. Once by a teen who needed mom type advice on cold medicine and once by underage guys who said I could go to their party if I bought them beer. I don't really go out all that often and even when I do - I am never approached. Case in point - I went out with my best guy friend who happens to be gay. Straight guys were buying him drinks and I was left sitting in the corner nursing the drink I paid for myself! I have tried starting conversations only to be looked at like I was speaking an alien language. This leaves that sad dating experience known as online dating and I am discovering I really suck at this form of social interaction,
As I have chronicled in the past - it is opposite of real world encounters. You go through everything backwards ending up with a meeting to see if there is chemistry which in my case there rarely is. In the real world, you encounter someone, decide then if there is chemistry and THEN decide to meet. At that point, you have already had a face to face encounter and you don't feel like you are being interrogated over bad coffee and feeling awkward. It doesn't matter how great you seem to click with someone over emails and text messages - it's the face to face that always seems to be my killer. This was the case yesterday as I had my first ever "Coffee Date"
I will be the first to admit that I didn't hold high hopes for this one from the get go. He was 39 and had recently come to the conclusion of "oh crap, I'm still single and all my friends are married with kids - I need to catch up". I for the most part do not want another child and even though I know that was his main criteria for dating - I needed to get out of the house. I also need practice talking to someone who isn't six. Besides, you never know what can happen until you do meet the person. For starters though - he had on a hideous shirt. If I could have slipped away discreetly without being seen; I would have. It was that bad. A black button down with bright blue dragons around it and a black thermal shirt underneath. That perhaps makes me shallow; so ok I admit it - I am more shallow than the splash pool at the water park. Bad taste in clothing aside - he was boring. He was witty and funny in his texts, but in person he was as flat as a piece of poster board, We had very little in common and I couldn't even pretend that it was interesting. He probably thought very much the same about me. In my defense though, I issued a disclaimer that I am really bad at first dates. After about an hour, I ended it saying that I needed to get back to Gman because I did. So we can now consider Date #2 of 2012 failure.
Am I asking too much? I'm not expecting fireworks, but maybe just a little dry ice effect? Some smoulder maybe? I'd really just like to be excited about someone again. Someone who could excite me in person the way Prince Harry via email? Someone who says "wow look at little miss hotty" and NOT have it be my son. I just don't know. Overall, I'm pretty happy with my life when I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I have kept my job for over a year. I have a closet that I spend $745 a month even though I rarely sleep in the bed next to it. I have access to my kiddo & can sleep on my ex's couch anytime I want. My basic needs are met. I have air, food, friends, my iPad and a crazy 6 year old that means the world to me. I am blessed in so many areas. I don't NEED to be with someone. I'd just like someone to spend some time with who doesn't share my last name every once in awhile!
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