Maybe as a woman, or maybe as woman writer - MAYBE I embellish my stories just a little bit. Maybe to make them more interesting or make myself seem a tad greater than I may actually be. I mean who knew a personal catharsis would turn into something that was read by 400+ readers a month right?
So MAYBE when I said I was fine with just being friends with my housemate - maybe I embellished a wee bit? Then again, it could have just taken a day or two to sink and for me to realize that it wasn't what I wanted. It really wasn't. In thirty days time; he managed to navigate through my wall. This is no easy task as it is high and wide. I don't let people get close to me - it's a protection measure. He was the first man in two years since the separation and subsequent divorce that I did allow to get close. It took Man Whore about three months to get me out of my room and even be social if I wanted to put this into perspective. If I could jump into my hot tub time machine, I would go back and change last Sunday. It was all just too much for my chemically altered brain to take in that morning though and I couldn't handle it. I should have just left well enough alone (which is something I just don't know how to do). When I wasn't with him, I wanted to be. All I could think about was kissing him I was as pathetic as a school girl with a crush.
I thought things were going to be OK. I texted him to tell him we were good and if it was meant to be, it still would be later as he has quite a few personal issues to sort out. I saw him briefly the following day, said hi, hugged him goodbye and went about my evening. The problem is he looked good and smelled amazing as he always does. A few flirty texts later, he stopped texting back and I didn't hear from him for a few days. When I finally did make it back home for a night, I sent him a text asking what he was up to and he replied with "Hi roomie, just prepping for tomorrow". Hi roomie? OUCH. That was a very blatant "I have distanced myself from this completely". I asked if he wanted to hang out and he told me no he was going to bed. DOUBLE OUCH - dissed and lied to. He NEVER goes to be before 11:00 pm. EVER. Roger Dodger - message received loud and clear. I went to bed smarting, but not defeated. My new found clarity wouldn't let me be defeated. Never trust that though. When you think it isn't going to get worse - it does.
I saw him Saturday and he didn't even look up or acknowledge me even though I was greeted by the owners of the house. Flash forward to last night. My son is on spring break, so I have been spending a lot of time with him these past couple of days. We swung by my house to get clothes for the follow day and saw that the housemates SUV was there. Not a big deal - chances are he was in his room and I wouldn't have to see him. WRONG. I walk in and he is in an embrace with a brunette in the dining room. Gman and I made a beeline into my room. I was flustered to say the least. I tried to gather my clothes as fast as I could because I really didn't want to be there and felt sick to my stomach. As we were leaving, he said hi and I managed to squeak out a overly sweet hello and we dashed out. Of course being as flustered as I was, I realized that after we ran our errands and had to go back out again to return the Redbox rental that I had left my pants at home and had to go back. <FACEPALM>. I told my son to go upstairs to his place and I trekked back to my place feeling nauseated to say the least. When I got there, he was cooking her dinner and they were being all flirty. It was THEN I was finally defeated. I deleted him and his bunny eared contact photo that I adored from my phone. I had to because I was too tempted to send a text telling him not to come in HER eye as it would be bad form since she was playing with his phone. Of course that would have made me look bad and well I do have more class than that.
That's OK though. So what if she wasn't even pretty and he took NO time to move on? It was something that was nothing right? Well they say revenge is a dish best served cold. I disagree. I think it is a dish best served served hot - especially if the dish is a hot Latin 27 year old who I think may finally get his chance. Petty? Yes. Yes it is, but all is fair in love and housemate war and I am far to good of a catch to allow myself to be defeated! So stay tuned to see if I actually cross the cougar line!
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