Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I Met Someone...

Oh dear - I really hope you didn't break open the boxed wine in celebration.  The title is a wee bit misleading. 

I mean I did meet someone.  I went to great lengths to make that happen.  A long while back I had signed up at a geek dating site.  It seems I am too out there or the mainstream ones - so I thought I would try one a little closer to my personality.  There was a guy who winked at me, but never said anything to me and I decided if he wasn't going to say anything - I wasn't going to act on it.  Flash forward to a few weeks later.  I found a dating site specifically geared towards people who play the same video game I do. I signed up there too thinking that if I can't make a connection there - I really need to hang it up.  I mean - I think I'm pretty hot for a geek.  Lo and behold - I found the same guy there.  I decided to take a closer look and found it said that we live in the same city, he WASN'T in his twenties and we had an insane amount of things in common.  He was kind of cute too so I decided I needed to talk to this guy.  So I sent him a message.  His inbox was full.  I went back to the original geek site.  His account had been deleted.  I had been thwarted.  Of course I had no way to contact a very great match.  This the luck of me. 

So I thought about it for a few days and realized he had his email address listed on the gaming site.  Now I have done some stupid things in my day, but pushing the boundaries of cyberstalking is not one of them.  Well it wasn't until Tuesday at least.  I decided I would email his personal email address after all.  Best case scenario - he responds.  Worst - he doesn't.  I made a brief introduction referencing the the geek site and gave him my Facebook link to prove I wasn't a porn spammer.    Twenty minutes later I had a friends request from him and thus began the chat.  Lots of things were discussed and I made sure to establish that this wasn't sexual in nature.  He told me that he would actually like a girlfriend, so he was ok with the fact this wasn't about casual sex.  This guy seemed to me like and that he could be boyfriend potential - not just a pipe cleaning potential as it were.

Two days of nonstop chatting led to the request of a gaming date for Friday night.  He'd pick me up with my laptop, we'd watch a movie, play some World of Warcraft and just hang out.  This didn't seem like a bad night to me since I would've been sitting home playing anyways.  In fact it seemed like a pretty damn fun night to me. He had wanted to me to spend the night only under the pretext of if he was drinking - he wouldn't want to drive me home.  This didn't sit well, but I wasn't ready to address it quite yet.  That evening he texted me and said he in in the area and how about he stopped by for a meet and greet?  That would take the awkward edge of the following evening. I was already in my going for a run gear and warned him I really didn't have time to cute myself up but sure - come on over.  So there I was in my ponytail, leggings, tank top and jog bra letting some guy I am trying to impress come over.  Obviously I hadn't really thought this through, but there was nothing I could do because he was less than five minutes away.  Mad dash to make the bed, shove everything I could in the closet, hide the sex toys (ok - not really on that last part) and the next thing I know - I am coaching him as to where my house on the corner of the main street is and arguing what constitutes two blocks. 

He was tall - I came up to the top of his ribcage at best.  He was cute and was dressed in a casual style.  Basic jacket, Vans, t-shirt and jeans.  I had There is Something About Mary on in the background because well I am pretty sure the Vanderpump Rules Reunion Special that I was watching would have sent him running for the hills.  I of course was my stupidly shy self, but not as much as usual.  He rambled a lot and  I was content to listen because that meant I didn't have to talk about myself.  Except for the fact he was a smoker which is usually kills it on the spot - I thought he was pretty cool.  It is very rare for me to meet someone who not only plays the two main games I do, but also likes the same anime, loves Star Wars and just shared my overall geekiness too.  I was willing to overlook the smoking part because I had just found my near perfect match.  We hung out for about an hour and he decided to take off.  He didn't try to kiss me or do anything inappropriate.  We hugged goodbye and he reminded me to make sure I had my power cord for my laptop.  Nothing kills a great gaming episode like a dead battery.

I texted him later that night, but he didn't respond.  I let it go and fell asleep to the repeat of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion (I don't think I am ever going to get to see it in it's entirety).  At 1:15 am I get a Facebook message from his saying "Sex Tomorrow?"  Now I leave my phone on at night because I don't live with my son.  Not that I think that anything is going to happen to him, I just prefer to have it on just in case. I am accustomed to certain emails coming in around midnight and have trained myself to not notice those. So I really didn't appreciate being woken up at with such a ridiculous question when sex wasn't even on the table to start with.  I gave him grief over it in the morning and he said he was only kidding.  There would be no sex.  I then told him that I still really wanted to hang out that night - I just didn't want to spend the night.  He doesn't live exactly close and even under the context of a platonic couch surf - I wasn't comfortable with the idea of it.  He said he understood and maybe another time.  I suggested since he was going to pick me up anyways - why not just bring the movie and we could watch it at my place?  I never heard from him again.  I suspect he didn't want to come back to my place because of the housemates even though we all keep to ourselves.  What I don't know is why he refuses to talk to me - but hasn't unfriended me on Facebook.  I didn't cancel on him, tried to make other arrangements to counteract the spend the night factor - but he won't respond to anything I send him.

So yes - I DID meet someone.  Someone who I ACTUALLY wanted to see again and really get to know.  I guess it wasn't in the cards.  So I need to leave well enough alone (yes I know I don't know how to do that - thanks for reminding me) and let it go.  Whatever his reasonings were - they are his and his alone.  If he wants to watch Dragon Ball Z alone - that's his prerogative.  He may be hard pressed to find another female in his age range in Orange County who shares his love for the show besides me - but I think that is just the bitterness of rejection rearing it's ugly head.  He even told me he has a hard time finding women who even accept his lifestyle gaming choices - much less participate in them.   The ex asked if I was really moping over the fact I didn't get a 37 year old WoW player.  I told him it was more that I COULDN'T even get the 37 year old WoW player.  Seriously.  If I cannot seal the deal on someone who shares my geek passion - then I really need to consider taking a serious hiatus. Maybe it is truly time to bring on the moratorium.

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