For some reason I cannot escape the attractive housemate. I seem to collect them like some people collect stamps, coins or Birkin bags (this is So Cal after all). When I moved into my current household, I thought I had escaped it for once. I had met two of the three men who lived there and there was no attraction whatsoever. It was a relief after a year and half of living with Man Whore and his entourage. When I finally met the third man, I stopped in my tracks. I immediately texted a friend "OMFG my last housemate is freaking HOT". The kind of hot that if I brought him to a work function - the catty office girls would be dying to know how I got him. I was never home enough to charm him though and in the past six months I've seen him minimally.
Well in recent weeks I have been spending a lot of time home. When I had my Geek Boy over, Hot Housemate (HH from here on out) knocked on my door asking if I needed the bathroom for any reason because he was overtaking it for awhile to shave his head. I thought nothing of it. After Geek Boy left, I ran into HH in the hall & made small talk about his shaved head and thus began the flirting (ok MAYBE I was rubbing his head while talking to him). We exchanged numbers and decided we would hang out sometime. That seemed innocent enough; Man Whore I did it all the time. He'd drink whatever he had on hand, I'd drink my wine and we'd watch the Lakers, Pawn Stars or just hang out and talk.
Within 5 minutes of the exchange he was wanting to come in my room and hang out and I shut him down. I'm getting old because at that exact moment sleep > hot guy. Yes my priorities can be skewered.
Fast forward to a week later. After much discussion with the Devil on shoulder, it was decided that I must go after him. Even if it was in a clean the pipes capacity - my ego needed this. I sent him a text apologizing for the week before if I had come off rude and suggested maybe we could hang out next week. Again - I'm thinking something platonic; something let's get to know each other first. I'm deeply engrossed in a Bethany Ever After marathon and he knocked on my door. I let him in which was probably a mistake. He came in, swept my covers aside, swept the hair off my neck (which I will never admit to anyone except all thirty of you who may read this - that was kind of a turn on) and lunged into me. I froze. Then I threw him out of my room. I wasn't really prepared for that kind of bravado. I spent the next few days afraid to go to the bathroom for fear of running into him.
Flash forward another week. After more counseling with my Devil; I texted him asking him what his idea of hanging out was because he obviously wasn't on par with mine. He apologized and told me we would just be friends. A few days later I saw that he was overhauling his room and was sent into a panic. It looked like he was moving out before I overcame my fear of the opposite sex. I texted him to find out what was up and it turned out he was just spring cleaning. This lead to more flirting which lead to him offering to make me dinner the following week and we'd watch a movie. Yes, I know exactly what Let's Watch a Movie is code for, but it was decided he was going to be my rebound and well I was getting a cooked meal out of it. Besides, I have been in control this whole time and really nothing would happen that I didn't truly sanction.
Flash forward 4 days later. We hung out and I helped him set up his laptop as I am woman of very many talents you know. We talked and got to know each other a little bit and I knew how the night was supposed to end. Little did I know it would end up as what was detailed in my last post. Oh did I forget to mention that the subject is literally six steps from my door? Whoops my bad. So it was then my turn to friend zone him. A few text messages the next day and I thought we were good. The problem is, fully clothed he is a really nice guy and well this is shallow but also just disarmingly attractive. It reminds me of this scene from Crazy Stupid Love (which is the only chick flick i will admit I like.)
So Friends Zone it is. Saturday I had a rare day home. I rented Argo and texted him to see if he wanted to see it, but he had to promise me he would be on good behavior and would stay clothed. NO EXCEPTIONS. He told me he had to work late and I told him too bad because I would probably half way to asleep when he got home. Twenty minutes later he told me he was going to get off early and I jokingly told him to bring me dinner home because I was starving. An hour and a half later, I have this hot guy dressed in a white shirt and tie delivering me my favorite pizza and a two liter of Coke. Pizza will ALWAYS win you points in my book. We ate dinner, he took a shower and I frumped myself up with fleece pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt. Then we watched the movie. He curled me into his side, wrapped his arm around me and fell asleep for the first half and behaved completely the second half. There was some caressing of my hair and such, but nothing that crossed the line. When it was over - I told him it was bedtime and he gave me a small kiss goodnight, told me I was his favorite friend and left. FRIEND ZONE MISSION ACCOMPLISHED sort of. I spent the next few hours tossing and turning because - well I really didn't want to kick him out.
The next day I texted him telling him that it if it weren't for the fact that I would have to change EVERYTHING about him sexually, I could totally buy into this. That led to a discussion of what a selfish, vulgar jerk I thought he was in bed and was informed he isn't always that way and if I didn't like it - he'd change it for me. What - a man actually saying he would change? Could it be that the neanderthal from a few nights ago could actually be molded? We kind of decided that neither of us are really in a place for a fully committed attachment. I expressed what I wanted out of it, he expressed what he wanted out of and it was agreed we'd just see what happened.
So thus begins the chapter of casual dating with no current commitment, Yes I know that I am probably playing with fire because I will probably fall for him but I am almost positive I will be able to pull the plug on it when it ceases to be fulfilling for me. I know that things will be fine until he is actually dumb enough to bring someone home under the no commitment terms and I go internally psychotic. Don't worry though. He may be hot, but I still have an equally hot 15 years younger than him guy I have kept stewing on the back burner just waiting for his chance and nothing fights fire like fire! But in all seriousness - I am curious to see where this goes. I am taking a big step in my path of moving on. My good friend Tim put it this way - "Sometimes we eat for sustenance and sometimes we eat for gluttony. Fruits and veggies are noble foods and are good for you while they take away hunger. Cheetos can do the same thing... Maybe he's just a Cheeto" Time will tell if he is a Cheeto or bacon wrapped Filet Mignon. If you will excuse me now I have to go hit the vending machine because I cannot stop thinking about Cheetos and dreading the run I have to do later to burn some of those calories!
Update 12:30 AM
And as quickly as it opened; so closes the chapter on Casual Dating. I guess he isn't Cheetos or Filet Mignon. The funny thing about a small house with thin walls is you can hear everything that goes on behind them. I was blissfully ignorant and finally getting some sleep until he walked down the hall on the phone speaking rather loudly....to some woman from his past....begging her for a commitment...promising her the girl he had been texting over the weekend didn't mean anything which fully woke me up. The only thing I hate more than being disturbed while watching a movie - is being woken from a good sleep, so needless to say my mood was foul and a little dramatic. I pulled the plug. just like I promised I would when it wasn't fufilling. It is fine, but I'm not going to be the be the one who fills in the space when whoever she is isn't around. He wasn't my type and I was being swayed by my own shallowness and neediness into something that I knew I didn't want in hopes of it turning into something I did. I deserve better than that and am finally mature enough to realize it. Just glad I found it out sooner than later.
NEXT!
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