I knew the day he was born that this day would come. That someday, I would no longer be the center of his universe. That one day, I would reach out for his chubby little hand and it wouldn't be there instantly cradled into mine. That one day. he would no longer be a baby, but a big boy who craves independence; free from the over protective shadow of mom.
I should be high fiving myself that I am part of a duo that is raising a mostly self confident child. One who is extremely smart, exceptionally funny and ready to venture on to new challenges. It's just hard to fathom that he wants to venture without me. This is the child who shunned other kids at the park so he could play with me (well when he wasn't hitting on the other moms), Who cried and would withdraw himself into a corner when I dropped him off at preschool. The child who stood outside the bathroom door while I was doing my business because he wasn't allowed in there with me and didn't want to be apart. This was also a child who is no longer 3, 4 or 5 years old.
He is now almost 6 and a half years old. When we go to the park, he now only wants to play with me if there are no other kids around. When he is taken to school, he wants to be dropped off in front of the school so he can walk in by himself. The morning I had to go into school with him so we could talk to his teacher - he was mortified. He told me he was going to pretend he didn't know me and ran 5 steps ahead so we weren't together. Nevermind the fact he kept calling back "mom are you still there?" "Yes Gman I am" "OK, then I still don't know you!" He no longer wants to be called baby or sweetie in public so he doesn't get made of fun of. He wants to be known as DUDE.
Yesterday was the kicker though. At a party with his classmates, I was informed I was to hang out with the other parents and was not allowed to play with him in the bounce houses. So I sat there and watched my baby who really isn't one anymore, interact with his peers without a care in the world. He would run at me like he was coming in for a hug, but then run right past me. He was in the six year old zone and it's a zone I have to come to terms with. I have to learn to let go because this is what he needs to grow and become even more confident and self assured. I need to cherish the fact the he still insists on his lullabies and a story before bed because those days are numbered too. He is growing up and I couldn't be more proud of the boy is becoming. So, I bite my tongue when I feel the urge to scream GO BABY as I cheer him on at soccer. I try to honor his wishes of not responding "yes sweetie" when he asks me a question when we are out and about. It's hard though because that DUDE is always going to be my baby!
No comments:
Post a Comment