It has been awhile since I've had a post from the front lines. I recently declared to the world and more specifically to my friend Lisa - I AM READY TO DATE. Not that I want to date her - I just seem to run everything by her first. I even broke the bottle on the ship with the bad date I had a few weeks ago that I wrote about. The problem is that I don't have a car. While in everyday life this isn't as problematic - it is when you are trying to achieve some semblance of a social life. This is why I am on phase II of the online dating experiment. This translates to a new dating site. Not having an optimum way to get out & meet people - sadly it is my gateway to interaction & well it can make for good blog fodder. For instance - there was a 27 year old who wanted to make me comfortable with my body and spoil me with goods for pleasing him in the sack. My first thought was it that it would make me a whore. My second thought was - Damn I could have me a Sugar Baby! I was told by one of my friends that I OWED it to my readers to pursue that one & that a romp with a youngin' might do me good. I found it odd that he used the words passionate and erotic to describe what he wanted. When I was 27, I don't ever recall a guy having an interest or even using those words. I probably would have but my personal life is a bit complicated & I am not always able to plan or commit to things. He has since lost interest.
The most interesting though thus far was the guy who dissed me today. Probably because I was asking obtuse questions of him because something wasn't sitting right. Red flags weren't flying, but a gut instinct was kicking in nonetheless. I am not in pursuit of a purely sexual relationship. While having my world rocked six sides of Sunday would probably do me more good than I am willing to admit - it isn't what I am looking for. I guess I suspected that is what he was though. The worst part is he felt the need to inform me that among all his star qualities he had a Beautiful Lollipop. Excuse me? Apparently this was his word for penis. I'm a grown woman - I can say & type the word PENIS - not so much him. For the record - I told him I had no patience for lollipops - I bite them 3 licks in & he could take that any way he wanted. He also told me he would rather spend time with his daughter than chasing after Woo Woo. Woo Woo as he put it - his word for vag. He couldn't even say vagina. What the hell? Seriously - did I digress to grade school? Oh my god - can you imagine in a moment of passion having some guy command you to suck his beautiful lollipop or asking if your woo woo is wet? It didn't break my heart when he got crude & I informed him that talk would lose me & he informed me - that was his intention. Whatevs dude. He was attractive enough but hot guys on the internet are a dime a dozen & quite frankly - my number count is high enough. If I took every guy up on their offers of sex - I'd have Dr. J. numbers & probably a few treatable diseases.
So I remain steadfast in my search. I suspect I will die old & alone as that crazy cat lady who yells at kids to stay off her lawn. Until I find someone or am too decrepit to type - at least I will collect a few good story to share along the way and of course I will share them with you. You can either relate or thank the deity of choice that this isn't your journey!
PS - I have also discovered that I tend to be too geeky for the mainstream dating site....I haven't gotten a single hit off the geek dating site. Yes you may laugh - I am!
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