Yesterday was a milestone. It was the first time in about 15 years I had been on a "date". Seriously - the last date I can remember was with Mr. Nice Guy in 1997 who took me to Steak & Shake & then to see The Empire Strikes Back. That date didn't go so well either if I recall correctly - but that was more the issues I had with the guy as opposed to myself. Now I was informed in this day and age - the social relevance of the word date might be a bit antiquated. It was however; a brief meeting over a meal, in public between me and a member of the opposite sex that wasn't my 6 year old son.
It failed miserable, but I am proud to announce - I don't think it was my fault.
I spent 48 hours nervous as hell because, well I don't do well when presented in social situations that requires me to be me amongst strangers. I was assured though that I would be fine. I had texted with this guy for 2 days after chatting online for a few days before that. We seemed to have a good rapport. He didn't seem phased by the crazy situation that is the me, child, ex triangle. It seemed like it could be a good fit. He was just an over-all nice guy (as my friend put it - the kind we ran screaming from as fast as we could in our 20's). When he proposed we bump our lunch meeting up to this week from next week - I agreed. The day of, I got a nice pep talk from my man whore room-mate who knows how I am. My co-workers gave me words of encouragement and come noon, down the elevators I went.
We met and decided to go to a place that validated his parking. That was ok because he had offered to pay for the meal. We ate outside and I won't lie - it was a LONG 40 minutes. The pauses were long and awkward - but you know what? It wasn't my fault. I did everything in my power to come out of my shell. I was chatty and maybe I was too chatty - but they guy wasn't talking. It was me, dead sober mind you that tried to keep the ball rolling. All I got from him was a snarky remark about the blog (well booyah bitch - you got written about!), a question whether I liked Scrabble and a bit of an inquisition about my video gaming habits. He complained to the lady who cleared our table that the burger was too peppery. It just wasn't a great "date" It ended abrupt at 12:40 when he announced "Well I need to go, I left early and have to get back." Dude - you work less than 5 minutes from me - whatever.
I did sent him a text thanking him for lunch - it was the polite thing to do . I got one back 45 minutes later telling me I was sweet but obviously there was no chemistry, but I was a good industry contact and we should keep in touch. My 1st date & I get hit with the FRIENDS text? Dude - you are balding and had really bad shoes on - no thank you. Not that being bald was a big deal - but the picture I saw had him in a hat. I feel he misrepresented himself. Then again - I should know better not to fall for hat pictures - I mean why do you think Dwight Yokum & Tim McGraw don the headwear? There isn't anything up there. Seriously though - the shoes you can help. All I could think of when seeing the shoes was "yeah he's got to be a tighty whiteys guy. I replied back that of course it was going to be an awkward first meeting because we weren't meeting in the organic way. You know - maybe you are at a bar, the golf course, the grocery store - wherever you meet someone - you establish a face to face rapport & THEN decide to go out. It the opposite with online dating. I think it's preposterous to think that you are going to have a San Diego style 4th of July firework display (they went off all at once - a huge brilliant boom) on the first meeting. Personally - I would have given it another go because I understand that concept. He obviously didn't - so I promptly deleted him from my phone.
I was fine at the time, but as the night wore on, my fragile self esteem got the best of me because I did try very hard to carry the date. I don't care so much that it didn't work out as much as I do of his ultimate rejection of me, Obviously there was something about me that was a turnoff and of course nobody ever tells you WHY there is no chemistry. Maybe it was the video games, maybe I was heavier than he imagined, maybe I am better in word format that in person. I don't know. I can't let myself fret over it though. Yes, the broken toes has kept me from my running, walking & biking & I have put on a few extra pounds, yes I play video games and am proud that I have a level 50 barabarian on Hell level of Diablo III, yes I can wrap anyone around my finger in a text - I write - it's what I do. That's all a part of me and that's who I am.
Besides, the man whore room-mate told me I was awesome. If a hottie like that thinks I am - well other than the fact I am not supposed to take stock in what others think about me bad or good - I must be!
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