Happy Blogoversary

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date.  My little blog turned TWO YEARS OLD and in the whirlwind of trying to get my move coordinated - I missed it!

What a year it has been too! While the first year was more about getting my feet on the ground, this second year was more about actually taking steps and really putting myself out there.

I fell for 3 guys, all completely different and all so not meant to be.  One was my crazy room-mate who apparently was only interested in me when he was wasted.  Once he sobered up and found Jesus, he shunned me like I was Jezebel.  In his world I probably was.  If you remember when Fun Bobby on Friends got sober and he wasn't so fun - yeah that's him!

There was Coast Guard Guy.  He talked a very good game, but couldn't back it up.  When we were together it was amazing, but actually getting him to get together was a task in and of itself.  In the end - it wasn't worth the chase.  I am far too pretty to fall on my face for a man who can't make a reciprocal effort.

Then there was Bootcamp Guy.  I dated him for a whole month and to this day, I am not really sure why. I certainly feel like I was his rebound and it almost seemed like he was slumming it with me. I see him on Facebook with the Toe Ring Tramp and they go places, they take mini vacations and she is going oversees to meet his family next month.  All he ever did with me was take me on one bike ride and out to eat a lot.  He didn't even really put thought into my birthday - he went shopping at a drug store.    Me being stubborn, I  was bound and determined to prove the world wrong by dating a guy who wasn't my type and in the end - got dumped by a man who favors tighty whiteys. (hanging head in shame).  And no, I don't know why I still torture myself by looking up his facebook page to see the time he is having without me.  I never said I wasn't a glutton for punishment!

I had my share of Coffee Interrogations and I learned 1) I HATE coffee interrogations and 2) Beer Interrogations are much better.

While I had my share of younger guys hit on me - only one actually made the cut to get the cougar pass.  While he seemed perfect; I never heard back from him.

I jumped on the fitness treadmill and lost 10 pounds. Then, when I got dumped by Bootcamp Guy, started hanging at the ex's place more and more and fell off the treadmill, gained all the weight back and am now cursing myself for allowing myself to slump.  Once this move is over - I am going to jump back in.  I swear it!  I have a 5k I am supposed to run next month and it will be more of a walk!  My heart just isn't in the training and my foot has been troubling me lately,  Yes, I may be the last one to cross the finish line, but I will FINISH!

This blog cycle is also where I feel like I connected with more of my girlfriends.  KC and I have become very close and I need that.  It is very hard having all my friends on the other side of the states,  It is really awesome to have one close friend close by.  I wasn't sure after my divorce if we would be since she was friends with the ex before I was, but we have more than withstood the test of time.

I still have the Blonde Angel and Redheaded Devil.  I consult them from everything to what I should wear on a coffee interrogation to whether or not this move is wise.  Then I take what I want to hear, weigh it against what I need to hear and act accordingly.  I always have Supermom in the background too, but with two kids of her own and a three hour time difference, out chats are few and far between. Thank goodness for Facebook.

I joined a couple of writing groups on Facebook and these women inspire me to great lengths.  I still can't find the damn flighty muse 90% of the time, but if I could - there isn't a better bunch the gals at Midlife Boulevard and of course Jane Gassner's Midlife Bloggers.

I bought a car, held on to my job yet another year and got a small raise.  I got to see my son star in his school's performance of Aladdin and a cuter Aladdin you will never see (let's hear it for the first grader who got the lead role!)

It was certainly a year of a lot of self growth. I learned a lot about who I am and what I want.  OK, I really don't know what I want and doubt I ever will.  I need to continuing focusing on making myself happy and stop relying on the attention of others to lift me up.

What will the third year of my blog bring?  Who knows!  All I know is I am locked into a fourteen month lease with a man who tolerates me and a kid who I love.  I don't really know how the dating thing is going to work now that I will be living with my ex again. There are no plans for reconciliation, but a break from trying to find love might be well needed. This year has taught me that as much as I think I want love - I am not ready for it.

So bring it on year three!  I can't wait!

Falling

Andy Williams may have crooned that Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year, but I disagree.  I have two favorite seasons.  Spring and Fall.  Glory ho if Fall isn't upon us which just makes me happier than a pig in mud with a full trough of corn!

Fall in Southern California is so much different that Southwest Ohio.  So much so that I recall mentally complaining how hot it was a week before Halloween as I was sweating trying to get my son ready for trick or treating at the zoo.  We had to wait until the sun went down a bit to put his costume on because he had a latex zombie chest attached to the front of his costume.  In my day, I remember being bundled up and having to buy the costume in a larger size so that it would fit over your winter coat.  Back home the low is forcasted to hit below freezing next week, while I will be complaining over a chilly 50 something degrees.  Back home the leaves will change and then fall; here the leaves will stay green save for a few types of trees that may or may not lose it leaves.

Fall is comfort to me.  

I wait all year to be able to break out my scarves.  I can only usually wait until mid September and look like a foot when the Santa Ana winds come in and it's 80 degrees out. Scarves replace the chunky necklaces that are my staple during spring and summer.  

It means I can pull out my boots. Both kind.  My stylish black knee high boots and my Uggs.  Uggs you say? In Southern California 50-60 degree weather?  Yes I say.  I HATE being cold.  HATE HATE HATE it and 50 degrees is cold to me now that I am fully acclimated here..  I am not a true So Cal gal though because I won't wear them with shorts and a tank top. (Ok fine - that is a small lie - I did ONCE., but the ex and I were fighting and I was in a hurry to get out of there as quick as I could.  I was in workout gear and my boots were the fastest thing I could get on my feet.  A moment I am not proud of.).

It means fuzzy jammies. Both the footed kind and the non-footed kind.  For both me and my son.  Do you know how snuggley a child is in fleece footed jammies as he crawls into bed with you in the morning still warm from his bed?  NOTHING beats that.  Do I look totally ridiculous in my Hello Kitty pink footed jammies.  Yep!  Do I care?  Nope.  Do I think my fleece leopard print Animal face (from the Muppets) rock?  Yes I do. Angry Bird, Star Wars, stripes and polka dot fleece pants? Check, Check, Check and Check.  No the last ones are not striped AND polka dotted.  They are seperate pants.  Lets not get TOO cray cray.

It means I can actually cover up with the most awesome blanket in the history of blankets.  It's pink soft pile on one side and velour on the other.  It is highly coveted in my household from the cat, the kid and the ex.  I fight all of them for use of MY blanket.  At least the kid offers up his Perry the Platypus blanket in exchange.

It means comfort food.  Soups! (Hello Specialty's Cafe - waiting on the cream of chicken and wild rice soup to come back ASAP!!!).  Stews as in my famous (well in my house at least) beef stew and chicken pot pie stew.  It means I can bake pies because it is no longer too hot to have the stove, much less the oven going,

Lastly it means Thanksgiving is soon upon us, where if we are all getting along, a glorious family day.  Where everyone including Gman helps with dinner. Where we count our blessing  Afterwards we usually head to my friend KC's house and spend a few hours with her family where we know we are blessed because we have good friends.

What can I say?  I just LOVE Fall!

To Chop or Not to Chop

There is something in the air in Southern California.  It is perhaps a mild epidemic.  Starlets are cutting their hair.  SHORT.

Beyonce did it a few months ago (but then quickly threw in extensions), Kristin Chenowith and Jennifer Aniston did it last week, but most drastically I think was Pamela Anderson's cut.  Her trademark wavy locks were shorn down to a very short pixie cut.  Some thought it may have been a wig, but I doubt one would sport a wig and a ball cap when running a marathon.

This is my hair today.  I didn't do anything to it.  I don't even think I brushed it.  It's wavy, it's thick and it is everywhere.  If I ever visit your house, don't be mad when a week later your husband comes home with blonde hair on his jacket that isn't yours.  It's my hair infiltrating your life.  I may not have visited the ex's place for a week, yet his vacuum roller will be clogged with my hair.  It is simply omnipotent. 

I have a lot of hair.  When I say a lot I mean A LOT.  When I went as Garth to my Halloween party.  I didn't need a wig.  Just a teasing comb and a lot of Aqua Net. When I eat, I have to pull it back or I get a mouth full of hair with my fork full of dinner.  When I am driving,  I have to pull it back or it gets stuck in my lipgloss.  When I sleep, it has to be pulled to the top of my head either in a bun or valley girl pony tail style or it will try to suffocate me. The ends always look fried no matter how often I get it trimmed.  If 80's hair ever makes a comeback - I am SET!

So now I want to chop mine off.  Badly.  My brain keeps telling me that I have a fat face, that I have a double chin and that I will regret it.  My soul is saying I need a change, that it will be easier to take care of (a little Garnier Surf Wax and I am good to go) and I will save a bundle on the expensive Organix Macadamia Oil shampoo and conditioner I swear by. 

What are your thoughts on what I should do to my golden tresses?

Full Circle

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my divorce.  With that has come the strangest turn of events. As usual - these things really do only happen to me.

My ex's landlord is a slumlord to say the least.  He purchased the building from the old landlord in June and our first encounter with him was when he found him peeing on the back of the building underneath the ex's bedroom.  So classy.  When the hot water went out in September, he tried to use a unlicensed plumber to fix the job to save a few bucks.  After a few days of having to take cold showers and sending my son to my place for showers; the ex asked to be put up in a hotel for the night so he could take a hot one.  The landlord said tough luck.  The ex called the city.  The city came out and fined him for not pulling permits for a total repiping and the guy was finally forced to get a licensed plumber. In the mean time - the ex suffered through 2 weeks of cold showers and threatened to take the guy to court if he didn't discount the rent.  The landlord did so begrudgingly, but then he threw a 10% rent increase at him starting December 1st - the 2nd one in 6 months.  It was totally retaliatory, but the ex decided it was just easier to fight him in court over the deposit, than to deal with him over the rent.  The rent will be higher than the comps in the area with refurbished kitchens which his does not have.  So he gave his 30 day notice.

When I went to pay my rent, I was informed that my landlord is moving her mother in because she is sick and since I have the shortest tenancy - my room is the room she gets.  Now I personally think that the hot dumb housemate should have gotten the boot considering the drunken grief he gave everyone before he sobered up, but not my house - so I have no say.

Now, we both need a new place to live.  I am honestly at the ex's more than I am my own place.  I joke that I spend $745 a month on a closet. So, it was decided that we are going to get place together with all the amenities we are currently lacking.

For instance:

• A washer and dryer in the unit.  Do you know how frustrating it is when you have to share one washer with 5 other people?  It means that I rarely got to do my laundry and ended up having to do it at the ex's anyway.  
• A dishwasher.  This doesn't seem like a big luxury, but I HATE doing dishes and haven't had access to one in 12 years.  Some of the biggest fights between me & the ex were over the dishes not being done.  
• A pool.  Sure we live in sunny Southern California with a beach about 10 minutes away.  The problem is there is never parking at the beach in the summer because everybody and their mother is there, plus all the tourists.  (Those are the ones splashing in the water in early June before the water has had a chance to warm up). It gets damn hot here come August and it will be nice to just go for a dip when we are sweating in places it isn't polite to sweat.
•  A gym with equipment and free weights.  This will save me $30 a month in gym membership.

More importantly though - I get equal access to my son and don't have to look for a place that will let me have him there.  This is not as easy as it seems and even though I have been fortunate enough to find 2 places that would let me have him - I still needed to give notice that he would be there.  If I am living with him- I get to be full time mom again.  Dad can now take time to do what he wants without me having to clear it through the channels because I will be there to watch GMan. 

Is this going to work? Maybe third time is the charm? Who knows - but we seem to be actually working together for maybe the 1st time ever.  We are discussing things instead of yelling over each other and attempting to hear each other out.  We acknowledged that each of us have strengths that the other lacks.  I am not saying we have reconciled.  Not by any means.  I am pretty sure this will put the kibosh on dating for awhile though.  It isn't like there is whole lot going on in that department anyways.  All I know is that I have one happy 7 year old who gets a pool and both parents back for now and I will be saving $100 a month.  I just hope my soul was worth that much.