I have a boy. The most amazing 5.75 year old you ever did meet. He is a grade level smarter than the grade he is in, he is handsome, he has manners & he has taught me a few of the following things:
Body Humor is Funny.
It doesn't matter if it is a burp (yours or his) a fart (again yours or his) anything that has to do with the body that makes noise is hysterical.
Legos are a Stinkin' Man's Job.
Maybe not in your household but certainly in mine. Those directions don't make sense to me (maybe because I lack depth perception) Rest assured if you ask me for help - there will be multiple pieces left over & a 5 year old saying "I'm getting daddy - this is a stinkin' man's job mom" (ok - so sometimes I pretend not to know what I'm doing - I hate playing Legos)
Privacy is a Thing of the Past
There used to be a time when I could do my business in peace. Now if the ex isn't barging in to tell me something that can't wait 3 minutes, the kid is at the door asking "mommy are you done yet". If that wasn't enough - the cat seems to think he has carte blanche to push his way in & meow at me until I feed him. Even so, I still find myself sneaking in there just for a few moments of silence until said interruptions occur. So yeah that FB or Twitter update was probably just done on the pot.
I Rock at Name That Tune a la Radio Disney
My son seems to think that I need to know every song played on this station & should be able to name in within the 1st 3 chords. I lost Cool Mom Points when I couldn't tell him who was singing "We Need a Little Christmas". Worry not - I got them back when Radio Disney put me on the air when I called to find out who it was.(it was Shane Harper from Good Luck Charlie just in case you were dying to know too) Long gone are the days when I could simply amaze him because I knew all the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star & Row Row Row Your Boat.
Children Have No Filter
"I'm just waiting for my mom - she has bad poopy butt" Well I'm really not sure all the ladies in the restroom needed to know that - but thanks for sharing sweetness.
I Need to Find a Better Hiding Place for my 'Toys"
"OOOOH mommy - what's this blue squishy thing & can I play with the purple rocket?" Uh stay out of my drawers & hey there is a piece of candy on the counter in the kitchen - why don't you go grab it? (mad scramble to find a better hiding place & mental note to close my drawers BEFORE he walks in my room)
Sarcasm and Wit is Apparently Inherited
G: Mommy, when do you get married?
Me: When you fall in love & decide this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with
G: Did fall in love with Daddy?
Me: Yes Baby I did
G How's that working out for you now?
ba dah bum
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