Ring On - Hands Off

When I decided that I would move back in with the ex on a purely platonic level; I decided to forget about dating.  It was too hard to try to explain my situation to future suitors and I have an eight year old who is very possessive of my time.  So I quit.  Sadly with that I also let myself go.  I sealed my heart up, buried all feelings all feelings for the opposite sex down deep.  Very very deep.  So deep that I almost had myself fooled that my heart was a block of ice.

Then it happened.  I switched jobs and met "him".  The "one".  The perfect match. He hails from the state above mine.  He excels in his profession.  He has a dry sense of humor.  He's playfully evil.  He plays video games.  He is a total geek.  He's almost perfect.

Almost.

He also belongs to someone else with those five little words - "TIL DEATH DO US PART".

Boom.

That was the door slamming in my face.

Now mind you there is NOTHING I plan to do about this.  I have had my homewrecker moment.  I was so selfish with my own wants believing everything this older man fed me.  He had my worship and ultimately led me to bed. (Our cover was almost blown when we had to drive back to the club the station was holding a Halloween party at because I forgot my keys)  Never once did I think about the wife.  All I knew was that I was getting attention and a lot of free CD's and concert tickets.  What can I say - I had a thing for DJ's back then.  It is not a mistake I will make again.

It just sucks.  Once he asked me to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter with him as we lambasted the fact that it is only in Orlando.  He wasn't serious, but that was the most swoon worthy thing I had ever heard. It's like inviting a card shark to Vegas. The other day we were throwing Harry Potter curses at each other.  (I shouldn't be writing this - he used the killing curse on me twice!).  He's shared food truck pizza in his office with me while trying to break down The Walking Dead to Me.  All this is fun and flattering, but at the end of the day - he goes home to someone else.'

WHY WHY WHY?  This is so UNFAIR.  It is hard enough to find a man that truly gets me and shares my same interests.  It's like the gods of love are toying with me.  They are dangling the elusive carrot in front of me, but I am not going to take the bait. I'm going to use a stronger padlock on my heart and then throw away the key.  Then I am going to bury it so deep that it will never see the light of day again and when it does - it will be a fossil.  Generations will study it and say "wow - so this is what unrequited looks like."

Or I could just quit being so dramatic and just take it for what it is.  An amusing passage of time at work.  Surely there is another guy similar out there ear marked for me...right?