Wednesday, May 21, 2014

I'm still here

It feels like forever since I have last written.  I will admit that I did start a second blog to track the spiritual journey I stated on at the beginning of the year, but even that was fallen to the wayside.  I was accepted as a writer for a womans blog, but I don't even have the time for that.  My life has been cray cray and not even in the normal crazy Kathy fashion,

You could say that I have a man in my life - but that is only partially true.  It's more like an almost 8 year old who has taken the time he has gotten back with me and is more than making up for the times before I moved back in with him and his dad. It's killed my pretend dating life.  I haven't had sex since August (no you don't need to remind me just how long that has been).  While there is an agreement in place that his dad and I can freely date. we just can't bring anybody home.  While that sounds good in theory - try telling someone your ex husband is your house-mate.  Funny how the text stop after that revelation.  I have pulled the plug on all the dating sites.  I promise. I  discovered that I didn't need the ego feed anymore from someone I probably wasn't going to meet anyways.

While the blog is suffering - I am not.  I lost two years of tucking my son into bed every night.  Two years of him waking me up with a kiss and telling me it is time to get up.  Two years of snuggles. lullabies (even though those are few and far between) and giggles.  I lost two years of being mom; so I'm ok with making up for lost time.  During the week he has jui jitsu 3 days a week which means under the best circumstances dinner doesn't get started until 6:30 and and it's worst - after 7.  Then there is shower and homework.  Most nights my day doesn't end until almost 9.  Let's be honest-I'm too drained to put any effort into romance.  I can barely put the effort into shaving!

I was in a minor car accident, but severe enough to put me on some really good meds.  While I can probably write some amazing posts on Vicodin - not so much on the Soma. For a good two weeks I could barely remember my name!

The biggest kicker to the lack of writing though is that I changed jobs.  I did most of my blog posts while at work.  What can I say - my muse didn't like the monotony of drop filing paper.  I reconnected with an old boss and he ended up offering me the same kind of position with a title and an increase in pay.  He also handed me over a vomit covered shit storm topped off with dingleberry for a cherry.  I knew I was taking over from a guy who wasn't putting the effort in.  What I didn't know (and apparently nobody else in the firm did either) was that he hadn't done any work in three months.  He had boxes of stashed filing and I get the lovely job of cleaning it up.  I do have temporary help, but I barely have time to go to the bathroom so there is certainly no time to write my blogs there. 

My son and his dad are going away this summer for a month.  So I am going to use that time to reconnect with myself.  Hopefully then I will have something fun to write about.  Until then, I'm still here fighting the good fight!

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