This is My Life

So I met the man of my dreams.  Single dad who has custody of his kids, has a great job, handsome,  he likes UFC and I didn't meet him online and OF COURSE my son doesn't like his same age son,  but let's start from the beginning.

This journey started about a month ago.  You see my son is in a play and needed a Cogsworth costume and this isn't one I could just go to Ebay and buy. I couldn't make it becauseI don't have a lick of craft in me; I can barely color inside the lines. but my friend D does.  She possesses the 3 B's - Beauty, Brains and Badassness in all forms - so she said she would help me make this costume which is and was becoming the bane of my existence.

We needed to do a Joann Fabrics run, but my son was really sick.  I had to bring him with me to her house though because she needed to get his measurements,  Fortunately, my son and her son are best friends so leaving him to veg on her couch wasn't a problem.  Since it was just a craft store run and because I had been dealing with a sick kid; I was not glam squaded when we headed over.  This was a mistake because shortly after our arrival - Hot Single Dad showed up to pick his son up from the sleepover that D had hosted the night before. It was like he was walking in a ray of light and I was speechless. I immediately pulled my hair out of my pony tail and tried my best to not look like Single Haggard Mom.  I cursed myself for maybe the only time in my life I forgot lip gloss.  I am sure I was all sort of awkward, speechless and giggling at the same time.  He grabbed his son and was gone - along with my heart which followed him out the door.

Flash forward to Saturday.  Every time there is a UFC fight, D has a party at her house and all the kids get a sleepover.  Since HSD and her son have become thick as thieves - this means he would at the very least be dropping his son off and at best staying for the party.  I of course was pushing for the latter.  I texted D to ask if she had gotten a confirmation from HSD and she said she was just getting ready to let me know he was coming.

Holy buttered biscuits - I only had four hours to get ready and  I was stuck cooking butter steak at the ex's.  After my steak was done and the kitchen cleaned up; I made an excuse how I needed to shower. (Well I did - I smelled like butter steak which under some circumstances might be an aphrodisiac - but this was not one of them.)  I grabbed Gman and ran home to commence prep work.  My son who now considers himself a fashionisto/Lifestyle Guru raided my closet trying to find me something to wear. (Mental note - a nine year old boy will try to dress you like Cinderella which is not at all appropriate to watch men kick the snot out of each other.)  I decided on jeans, a low cut tank top and and sheer mullet t-shirt.  I took a quick shower. shaved the extremities and it was time to do the hair.  (Second mental note - a nine year old boy will try to put you in braids and barrettes. Boho/playground wasn't the look I was going for much to his dismay.)  I haven't touched up my roots in awhile; so the flat iron was out.  Nothing says Single Haggard Mom like an inch of grey hair.  I decided beach curls were the way to go.

I ended up somewhere between beach waves and Shirley Temple, but either way my hair looked AH-MAZING.  My son was still grumbling over the fact that I wasn't in a lace gown with braids and barrettes and even more mad that I wouldn't let him do my make-up. (Third Mental Note - even though I let him give me a makeover for Mother's Day - Carrie post prom was also not the look I was going for.)  I compromised and let him put on my lip gloss (Fourth mental note - if you let your nine year old apply your lip gloss- you will look like you just finished a makeout sesh even if you haven't locked lips with anyone.)  Then off we went to the grocery store to pick up something to bring.  As we are checking out, the manager asked me what trip this was today.  Apparently I am known for making multiple trips a day to this store.  I told him it was only my second trip and before I could stop my mouth - the next thing I know I am totally trying to pick up the manager. I was watching it unfold like an out of body experience. Something about how I can't go to a UFC fight empty handed and oh really -  you are going to Star Wars party for your nephew's 21st birthday - great what time do you get off - I'll drop my son off and be back - what it's in Corona - so what - are you driving?.  People behind me were laughing and my son was just shaking his head at me asking to be excused to go look at Redbox.  It was the hairdo I tell you.

We get the party (and no I never went back to the grocery store) and waiting for my mom tribe to show up and HSD to arrive.  Mom tribe arrives, margaritas commence and HSD walks in, Again I swear he had a heavenly light shining around him.  My heart which he took the last time he left, leapt back into my throat and I tried to play it cool.  I felt bad for the guy because he was totally surrounded by the mom tribe like fresh blood in a pool of sharks.  I never really got a chance to talk to him though because he was discussing little league with another mom and well my son acts and sings - he doesn't play sports.  I learned all sorts of useful tidbits about him though.  The mom tribe ended up outside somehow and HSD ended up on the couch with the rest of the men.  No way to infiltrate that either.  Then before I know it - the party is over and he is thanking D for the invite stating his daughter was home alone and didn't want to leave her by herself much longer.  I let him know we do this once a month and he should come next month.  For a brief moment - we connected.  He told me he loved to cook and he would bring something next time.  We locked eyes and he said it was good seeing me again and he'd see me soon.  Then we was gone.  Cue swooning, blushing etc. He must have fallen for the mass of curls on my head that I couldn't stop tossing.  Since he was gone though - it immediately went back into my signature pony tail

I was quickly brought back to reality when Gman started tugging at my shirt telling me  "Mom, I want to go home."

Wha wha what?  No, I was just about to embark of 12 hours of peace and quiet where I could replay out exchange in my head for hours.  What do you mean you don't want to spend the night?

Apparently he doesn't like HSD's son very much and felt like his son and D's son were being mean and he was done.  Not only was he done, he doesn't want any playdates nor does he to invite HSD's son to his birthday party.

Child you are killing me.

He just closed down EVERY open door I could've had to sidle my way in.

This is my life.

Oh well, maybe the grocery store manager is single...