The 3 H Club

My problem with resolutions is that I have no resolve. I am a live and die by the seat of my Target jeans kind of girl.  Oh I have the best intentions and very well may follow through for a week. They say it takes three weeks to turn something into a habit - I have yet to make it three weeks on anything, 

2012 is going to be different (I hope) though. Almost a third of my life was spent in a relationship/marriage that will be dissolved next year.  It will be the 1st time in 11.5 years I was not married & 13 years that I wasn't single.  It will be the first time that I have nobody to fall back on & if I do fall - there will be nobody there to catch me.  So here is what I would like to accomplish for myself in 2012. I am going to resolve to absolve, evolve and find that damn swagger if it kills me!

I seek membership into the elusive 3 H Club.  Fortunately there is no livestock or growing of vegetation involved.  I'm not really good with plants or large animals.

Harmony:

Goodbye Earl - I mean Fred.  (No I am not wrapping him in a tarp & dumping him at the bottom of the lake - although I guess metaphorically I am).  I have spent the last 5 months chasing my tail over him.  I do love him dearly & deep down I know that he is who I could be happy with.  The problem is that love is a two way street and I think I should have turned left at Albuquerque. He has his life and his demons to contend with and I cannot penetrate that wall no matter how hard I bang my head against it.  I am sure he has some sort of feelings for me, but if he  won't/can't tell me - then I will move on. 2012 will be the year of no more unrequited love.  No more tail wagging the dog, I am going to wag my tail like nobody has ever seen.  I mean I may as well make good use of that shelf booty right?

Health:

I shall seek health.  I will rediscover my love affair with my bike - even if it means rides at dark when there is less traffic and cooler air.  I will rediscover my hate for Jillian Michaels even if it means sweating & a shower before bed.  I will reduce the caloric intake and increase the healthy stuff.  Who knows - maybe the fat girl 2 piece will become the fab girl 2 piece. My skinny jeans shall not be an oxymoron & when my room-mate gives me clothes - they will fit as opposed to only being able to zip the very cute skirt half way.

Happiness:

This will be the hardest to attain, but I am certain it will be the most fulfilling. I will learn to love myself and see the good in me that I always seem to turn a blind eye to.  I will learn to value myself and purge the not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough demons. This will come while seeking harmony and health.  I am going to take classes in the summer that interest me - not just fulfill what I need for my degree.  Since I hope to have a car, I will continue pursuing that paralegal certificate that I started 9 years ago (that had nothing to do with resolve & everything to do with finances).  I won't lie - I hope to be in a HEALTHY HAPPY relationship, but I shall not seek it. I will let it find me.

On a side note, I will also continue my pursuit of the frivolous. I shall embrace that I am a geek - love me - love my WoW warlock (yes I gave in and started playing again).  I shall continue trying to find that perfect shade of lip gloss, nail polish and making my hair as fab as possible.  After all  - the path to 2012 starts with baby steps and I hope will end with full blown strides!