the dating pool

So what does one do when they have no car?  They turn to that crapshoot called Internet dating.  Now for those of you unfamiliar with this style of dating....consider yourself lucky...I mean let me introduce you to a world where desperation meets maybe I'll get lucky? 

It reminds  me of high school on a small level.  You hope the hot guys will pick you, while praying the old, fat, balding types who like to fish avoid you while you are stuck somewhere in the middle.  It starts with a picture. It should be a mix of sultry and fun.  Ok lets be honest - if you aren't showing cleavage - nobody is going to message you.  Yes even I have a bit of the girls playing peekaboo with in a tank top with my heading reading "My eyes are up here".  Sadly - ya gotta know how to play the game and if you can't make it passed the picture stage, you are sunk. 

If the picture is pleasing, you read the profile.  If it's interesting - you message the person & wonder whether you are going to be in the hell yes or HELL NO category when it is opened. You have casual banter via messaging.  Then if it goes well you start texting or IM'ing.  Then if that goes well, you talk on the phone & THEN maybe you actually go out.  Very backwards from the days of scaring the cute boy at the club because you are complimenting his T-shirt & he is amazed you know what you are talking about.  Going to Denny's at 3 AM with him & then making out in the gas station parking lot because he needed directions getting home because he wasn't on his side of town and then you end up dating him for 2 months - twice.

I have also learned that it doesn't matter what the profile says - more times than not - the guy is just looking for sex.  Seriously. How many times have I read "I'm looking for something real.  No games.  I want her to be the one I am destined to spend forever with".  This same guy will message you with "Your hot - want 2 have fun?'  Sorry good grammar is a turn on & your sentence was a turnoff.  Another guy with a similar profile got pissed off when I wouldn't tell him my cup size. Don't get me wrong - it is an ego boost when a hot 31 year old is only interested in you naked - but sadly - I need more than brawn & no brains. It seems that in the world of Internet dating - I am just an 80's hotel porn goddess who daddy will never take out of the bedroom.  Funny thing is....I don't put out on the first date - anymore... ;P