For Lisa Marie

My dear friend is getting married in May.  I really cannot afford a tangible present - so Saucywritergirl this is for you.

There is always a defining moment where everything changes.  You can retrace your steps & go "Oh - so that's where it started."  That moment for me was when I moved back to Dayton from Cincinnati & took a job at General Surplus.  This was a very he vs. she type of environment where  if you were a guy you got hired in at a higher rate than your female coworkers and promoted over your female coworkers even if they had more experience than you.  So the females tended to band together since there were only about 5 of us.  This is where I met the lovely Laurie Trick (if you are in the Dayton or surrounding areas and need massage therapy - she is your woman!) and of course Lisa.  It was with Lisa and Laurie that I discovered The Asylum which became the staple of my mid twenties.

I eventually left GS after one too many incidents of sexual harassment and discrimination, but remained friends with Lisa. She introduced me to our friend Tania & the three of us became quite the club triumvirate.  Our styles were all different - Lisa was respectable, Tania experimental and I was the one most out of control.  We all had the same core of friends, but our guy interests usually branched out in 3 different directions.  Rest assured though that on any given Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday, you wouldn't see one of us without the other 2 somewhere near by.

I will be the first to admit it - being as insecure as I am - I was always jealous of Lisa.  She was that perfect kind of cute with the strong personality. I knew no matter how hard I tried - I could never be her and it killed me inside.  I wasn't a very good friend to her back in those days because I wanted to steal her glory so I might shine as brightly. We butted heads more than a few times. "I do NOT approve of this, but  so help me god if you screw him over Kathy - you will not live to tell the tale.  You bore easily & this guy is important to me - DON'T SCREW THIS ONE UP" was what she told me when she found out I was "dating" someone she dated previously. Even then she was a master of words.  (For the record - he screwed me over because he sort of forgot to tell me he was dating someone else & debuted her on his arm after the Captain Woodycrafter CD release party).  She disapproved of almost everything I ever wore to the club.   I was always trying to steal Tania's attention from her and my lowest point was when I started a graffiti war in the bathroom that everyone thought she started and did nothing to detract from it. When I left for California, we were "friends"  but not really FRIENDS.  I did run into her a few years later when I came home for a wedding and apologized.  It was accepted, but there was still an icy chill in the air - as it should have been.

Fast forward about 9 years.  She found me on Facebook and somehow the bridge had been mended so well - one would never have known how unsturdy it was.  We both grew up and have gone through some serious life drama.  She has grown into an even stronger personality and has dealt with things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.  She is an amazing writer, a more amazing mother and most of all she become one of my best friends.  We Facebook each other while Tweeting each other.  We text almost every other day.  She was there for me when I was shipped to a homeless shelter (she was one of about 5 people who knew what was going on when I disappeared for 3 months).  She has been there for me when I moved out and  tried to learn how to navigate semi-single.  She is there when I am at my lowest, feel the most lost and have no direction.  She gives me words of encouragement & then apologizes for sounding like Doctor Phil.  What I never knew until recently is that she worried about me even back then because I was so out of control - she - like most just didn't know how to reel me in & it was frustrating.  Without her encouragement - you wouldn't be reading this blog. 

So Lisa Marie, she who has weathered so much so far, as you prepare to marry your love for a second time - please know I wish you all the happiness and strength you deserve.  Know that as you are for me - I will always be there for you even if you need me - good bad or pocket text. I am proud we made it through our 20's and am proud of the woman you have become.  I am still jealous of you - but not like before.  I still wish I had your shine, but now I am content that you share it with me.  Mostly, I am proud to be your friend & while miles separate us - our hearts will always be connected because I love you like a sister.